From the "Isn't that called profiling?" files and Yahoo! News...

Sudiegirl sez: You know, I really feel that it is my bounden duty to help the Viennese police in their quest to catch the big-nosed burglar. So I will make my usual snotterific comments, and present a few candidates for their consideration. Suspect #1 definitely has a big nose, but unfortunately can't travel to Austria without a passport and permission from his mommy and daddy, plus he'd have to take his little sister.

Police Search for Thief With Big Nose
Wed Aug 3, 4:25 PM ET

VIENNA, Austria - It wasn't a big gun or knife that caught the eye of an armed thief's victim in Austria's capital. Instead, the bandit's protruding nose left its mark. (Which leaves me to wonder exactly how he steals things!)

Police issued an alert Wednesday for Vienna's residents to be on the lookout for a man with a big nose in his mid-20s or early 30s after he held up a gas station. The cashier who was robbed told authorities the thief was rather nondescript with one notable exception: He had a giant nose. (Now, there's no need to get vicious..."protruding", "giant"...all are adjectives of hate, folks.)

They offered only one more clue - The man spoke heavily accented German. (Oh yeah, THERE'S something uncommon in Austria...someone speaking German!)

No one was injured in Tuesday night's holdup. (However, there has been a 75% increase in plastic surgeon consultations and positive body image counseling since the description was first publicized.)

Sudiegirl's final opinion?

Well, here are a few other candidates...er, suspects. If I can only do one thing for Interpol, this would be it. You've seen suspect #1, now here are a few more.

Suspect #2 certainly has the big nose area covered, and to further add to the mystery, he also wears a hat. As far as the accented German is concerned, is "Inka Dinka Doo" a phrase that's Germanic in origin? Better work on that one.

Our final suspect, Suspect #3, meets the nasal qualifications, but as we can see here, is not a guy. However, she PLAYED a guy in a movie, and a rather learned, European guy at that. Hmmm...bears investigation, doesn't it?

And on that note, I must say I certainly have a "nose" for news, huh? Haha...uh, yeah.

Sherlock Sudiegirl