Ever have one of those days when you want to beat everyone and everything with a wire hanger?
Actually, the correct caption should be Good evening my little bruschettas...
Actually, I had a good day, but one commenter from a previous entry (the one with the duckie doctor picture) really honked me off.
What did this erudite scholar of life and love have to say?
Something along the order of "Being fat is bad. Try to lose weight..." Then he went into this diatribe about an overweight co-worker that needs the a/c on so they can be comfortable and he freezes his ass off.
Poor baby.
So, on that note, I'd like to replace my "People who should be eaten alive by aliens" list with a new list..."people/places/things/concepts that should be beaten with a wire hanger".
Are we ready? Let's go...
BTW, anyone notice that ol' Faye D. is almost crosseyed in this pic?
How'd she do that?
People/places/things/concepts that should be beaten by wire hangers
1. I think we know who should be #1 on this list, right? Yes, Mr. Sensitive "I hate fat chicks b/c they cause me to suffer from hypothermia" Guy. As I've said before, there's a lot of us, and if you don't watch it, you might get an education of the most painful kind. Pack a sweater and have a nice glass of shut-the-hell-up.
2. Martha Stewart (and NO, I don't let up...)
3. The concept that "American Idol" has raised their maximum age to 28 as being "progressive".
4. I'd put Tom Cruise here, but he hasn't really done anything stupid this month so I'll just leave him alone for the time being.
5. The whole "Britney Spears/Kevin Federline" match up being the best this country has to offer as a "golden couple" ideal. Tuck in your shirt and get a real job instead of playing XBox all day, Kevin...and Britney? Oh, Lord...I can't even think of anything you could do that could improve yourself. I think you've reached your peak, you're sinking fast, and you'll be lucky to get booked at a boat show in Malibu by the time you give birth to your squab.
6. Who gave Pamela Anderson the idea that she should write a second novel? They should definitely be beaten. I like "Stripperella", but enough is enough!
7. Televangelists. 'Nuff said.
8. The concept of a "class reunion", especially in a smallish high school like mine. We were big enough to have cliques, most of the minds were small enough to think that a guy with no neck that drives a mud-runnin' pickup truck with naked lady mudflaps is the epitome of manhood, and 3/4 of the class still has this mindset at the 25th reunion. Anyone that can spell "Tchiakovsky"was accused of latent homosexuality, and don't even get me started on the concept of "feed cap etiquette".
9. Theme birthday parties for BABIES. Who in their right mind would spend $250 on a party that has more decorations than Phyllis Diller, a buffet that can feed an army, and a magician for someone who wets their pants and can't talk? Put the $250 in a trust fund and have a nice glass of shut-the-hell-up.
10. My first husband. 'Nuff said on that one too.
So there you have it, folks...I have vented my hatred, and yet I still feel vaguely empty inside.
Oh well, there's always tomorrow.
Sudiegirl the exonerated(?)
/div>
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