And now, from the "Proof that Too Much Country Music Is Bad For You" files, the Associated Press, and Yahoo! News...
Sudiegirl sez: I don't know why, but when I think of pissy Southerners that lose their temper, I just automatically think of Yosemite Sam. He's just the icon of pissiness for me...I think it's the red hair. I know I've been away from Rancho Sudiegirl for a few days, and the "Leona Helmsley Corporate Jackass" entry was removed (I had a pang of "doing the right thing", what can I say?), but I've been here cooking up mischief.
So here, we have all the elements of a country song...love gone wrong, a pickup truck, and copious amounts of beer. I'll bet he went on a bender and bought a bunch of Garth Brooks albums at the Wal-Mart, huh? I must admit, Garth makes me want to drink in quantity myself, but more because I'd like to forget he ever existed. Anyway, you know the drill...let's boogie.
Man in Swimming Trunks Accused of Spree
Mon Aug 22, 5:15 PM ET
COLUMBIA, Ky. - A man clad only in swimming trunks and wielding a baseball bat went on a vandalism spree at the home of his estranged wife and her former husband, then smashed his pickup truck through the back doors of the Adair County Courthouse, authorities said. (I guess somebody had a busy night, huh?)
Ronald Graham Webb of Columbia faced multiple charges from the Saturday night spree, including driving under the influence, criminal mischief, burglary and driving without insurance.
(Proof that I spent too long working in the insurance business...my ears only perked up at the last charge of driving without insurance. I remember hearing that one state in the US was poor enough that they didn't require its residents to have insurance on their vehicles. I'm not sure if it was Tennessee or Kentucky. Any clues?)
He made an initial court appearance Monday, pleading not guilty to the charges. A preliminary hearing was set for Aug. 31, a public defender was appointed to represent him and a $25,000 cash bond was set. Webb was being held in the Adair County jail. (For god's sake, don't give him a harmonica!)
A Breathalyzer measured Webb's blood alcohol level at 0.19, well above the legal limit of 0.08, said Kentucky State Police Trooper Martin Wesley. (My GOD...if he was a fire eater, he would have flambeed himself, right?)
Webb, using an aluminum bat, allegedly struck three vehicles in the driveway at the home of Steve Franklin, the ex-husband of Webb's estranged wife. Webb's wife, Marsha, moved into the home after she separated from Webb this month and filed for divorce. (And for the life of me, I can't understand why she would leave a stable, sober man such as Mr. Webb for her EX-HUSBAND????? There's a saying..."There's the devil you know, and the devil you don't know." I think she knows both these devils, don't you?)
Webb also allegedly broke into the house, leaving damage estimated at $25,000, Wesley said.
Among the items severely damaged were two televisions, two computers, an air conditioning unit, three fans, 10 mirrors, two compact disc players, five doors and several walls. He also allegedly shattered a toilet. (What about the partridge in a pear tree? Seriously, though...the "allegedly shattered a toilet" phrase got me the most. I understand legalese and why they have to use the term "allegedly" but I don't think the toilet shattered itself. What, are they waiting for a sumo wrestler to come forward and say, "I did it...I shattered the toilet"? I really wonder sometimes...)
The family had been away at the Kentucky State Fair. (OK, it's sad...the family is at the KY state fair, chewin' on corn dogs and buying "Dukes of Hazzard" t-shirts, riding the Tilt-A-Whirl, and having a great time...then coming home to a trashed house and an "allegedly" shattered toilet. You know what they'd be the angriest about when they first walk into the house? The TOILET! Why? Because I don't care who you are, when you come home from a car trip to somewhere, SOMEONE has to use the toilet. If there's only one, and it's "allegedly" shattered, you're screwed. Not a pretty way to finish the evening.)
Wesley said that Webb then drove through the courthouse doors shortly after 9:30 p.m. CDT Saturday. The courthouse was closed at the time, and no one was injured. (However, the courthouse now offers drive up service for fishing and hunting licenses until further notice.)
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Information from: Lexington Herald-Leader, http://www.kentucky.com
Why does this sound like something George Jones would have done?
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