And now, from the "Pork: The Other White Meat" files and Yahoo! News

(Sudiegirl's note: I know the joke is in bad taste as far as the pic on the right is concerned, but ya know the nickname...why fight it? And BTW, if you want to hear a recording about another incredible animal, pick up the Austin Lounge Lizards CD "Employee of the Month" and you'll find a little ditty penned by Jim Stafford called "Flatnose the Tree-Climbing Dog". It's just as miraculous as this is! No lie! And now, the usual BS and snarkisms from your favorite bipolar redhead...)


Arnold the Crime-Fighting Pig Dies (BTW, was the last name of the pig "Ziffel"?)

Wed Jul 20, 7:30 AM ET

MINNEAPOLIS - R.I.P., Arnold the Crime-Fighting Pig. A south Minneapolis neighborhood is mourning the loss of Arnold, a 450-pound porker who once foiled a burglary. The beast died last month from apparent heart failure. He was 6. (Wow...what's that in people years?)

Arnold earned his name after sinking his teeth into one of two intruders who tried to rob his owner, Becky Moyer, at gunpoint in February 2001. She had just returned home when the two men confronted her in her garage. When they moved inside, Arnold was sitting patiently by the refrigerator waiting for his dinner. (You know, that makes me think...what do you feed a pig that makes them so monstrously huge? Ben & Jerry's usually does it for me, but I digress.)

Moyer screamed, and Arnold sprang into action. When he clamped down on the burglar's leg, the intruders bolted and left behind a puddle of blood. (I'll bet that's not all he left behind...I smell censorship!)

"I never dreamed, never dreamed that a pig could be a protector," Moyer said. "Never." (Well, Duh! You obviously never watched "The Muppet Show" or any of the Muppet movies. Pigs can be a testy bunch. Which brings me to this point...what makes you so sure that the pig wouldn't have bitten you instead if you weren't timely with his dinner, Ms. Moyer? Just think...it could have been you, therefore, no cute nickname for old Arnie...)

Moyer received the part-Yorkshire, part-Vietnamese potbellied pig as a birthday present in 1999. (Did she receive a book of recipes from the Minnesota Pork Producers too?)

Then, he weighed 10 pounds and was expected to top off at 60. (Obviously, she didn't do research...any Iowa girl knows Yorkshires ain't small!)

"I was like, I don't need this pig," Moyer said. "I just wanted a night out on the town or something." (Well, ya know...when you care enough to send the very best...)

Sudiegirl's final word...

Do you SEE why I moved away from the Midwest? God...and on that note, Miss Piggy and I will bid you a fond "OINK".