He's got my eyes and your...antlers? From the "Bullwinkle Twist" files and Yahoo! News
(Sudiegirl's usual disclaimer: I think that what the Gagnons did was very noble. I support it wholeheartedly. I just happen to think moose, by nature (or nurture) are really hilarious. It's all Bullwinkle's fault. Damn him...read on, with usual sarcasm noted in bold italics...Sudiegirl)
N.H. Couple Nurse Orphaned Baby Moose
Fri Jun 10, 6:25 PM ET
NORTHUMBERLAND, N.H. -
A couple received an odd request from police — to put up a baby moose whose mother had been hit by a car. The mother was badly injured and had to be shot by police, the second moose accident in an hour on a one-mile stretch of Route 3 on Thursday night.
(OK, again...crucial parts are being left out. What are the moose doing hanging around the highway on a Thursday night? Isn't that...pardon me..."Moos-t See TV" night on NBC? Sorry...)
The baby moose wasn't injured. He couldn't have been more than a few days old, police officer Amie Colbeth said in Northumberland, near the Vermont state line.
(Which brings up a question...how do you know how old a moose is? It's not like they come with a birth certificate stamped on their horns? ! It could have been a pygmy moose from Connecticut just begging for attention of some sort. You know, Jessica Fletcher would have this solved by the time "Diagnosis Murder" was ready to come on.)
One member of the ambulance squad volunteered to put the baby moose in his basement until Fish and Game officers could come and get it, Colbeth said. But then another rescue worker remembered that the Gagnon family, who lived just a little way from the accident, had box stalls in their barn. (How much you wanna bet that's not REALLY how it happened? Here's what I think happened. The guy who volunteered to put the baby moose in his basement is like any other guy with good intentions...that is, he forgot to ask his wife/girlfriend/sister/mother first. He probably volunteered, took Bullwinkle Jr. home, and the female part of the household said, "What the FUCK do you think you're doing bringing a MOOSE inside my home? Don't you realize they GROW? And they DON'T stand on two feet and recite nursery rhymes and bad puns!" So then the ambulance guy has to go BACK to the station, explain what happened, and then this other person remembers that the Gagnons have some community service to do after the local police found that little garden of "oregano" -- yeah, right, and the cigarette papers are part of that old Italian processing method -- so here ya go, let them feed Bullwinkle. Simple, no?)
"When I heard what they wanted, I said, 'Yes.' I'm not crazy about moose, but when you have a young animal there, what can you do?" said Michael Gagnon.
(Yep, and he's also pissed about the unfortunate discovery of the cigarette papers, so he's gotta do this or wind up in a cell with someone named Tank who wants to be his loverman. Gotta take the moose.)
The animal was quite nervous in its stall, though it seemed to calm down after the crowd of rescuers left, Sandy Gagnon said.
(So THAT's where they put the rest of the stash! They should have piped in some Doors music to make the experience complete...or Grateful Dead?)
The Gagnons tried to feed the moose some baby formula, using a large bottle meant for nursing calves. The moose poked at the bottle, but didn't drink, Sandy Gagnon said.
(So then they fed it some more weed, it got the munchies and walked over to the local A&P and ravaged the produce section. Hey, it's just speculation...)
Fish and Game officers took the moose to a wildlife rehabilitation facility on Friday.
"He seemed to be strong enough," Michael Gagnon said.
Sudiegirl's final word?
I hope Bullwinkle remembers the kindness of strangers, or at least that their ditchweed was fine.
"One Toke Over the Line, Sweet Jesus..."
Sudiegirl (who isn't stoned as she's writing this, BTW)
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