Assorted stuff, things and items...and did I mention stuff?

From my friend, the great and powerful Paul Pinkham (aka "Paulywog")...

40 things you'll NEVER hear a redneck say...

40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.
39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
(Eewwww...although her mom was 14 when she first met Elvis)
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can't feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
(One could also insert Opryland, Dollywood, or Twitty City)
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
30. Wrasslin's fake.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We're vegetarians.
(Ain't potato chips vegetables? Sterzings' lovers back in Iowa might agree...)
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
24. Who's Richard Petty?
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.
19. Trim the fat off that steak.
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15. I've got it all on the C drive.
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?
12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
(God, do they still make that crap?)
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
(This is also something you'll never hear Sudiegirl say...Nutty Bars rule!)
9. Checkmate.
(Ironically, my father - an inveterate redneck - taught me to play chess when I was little. However, I suck, so you won't hear me say "Checkmate" either. Sigh...)
8. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
7. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
6. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
(BTW, the brain trust that created Hee Haw has also put out a box set of several episodes. There's just no escaping it, although I had a mild crush on the Hagger twins as a child.)
5. I don't have a favorite college team.
4. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
3. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
1. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.
(Gee, my cousin Gary is a redneck too! Barred drivers' licenses can't be wrong!)
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OK, folks, so this weekend has been good. I played a gig with my friend Paul (the aforementioned "Paulywog"); it was a cocktail party in a parishoner's backyard for St. Nicholas' Capital Campaign drive, and it was a good time. Nice and relaxing, really...we even got a possible gig out of it - of all things, a baby shower! I can honestly say that's something I've never performed for. Should be fun...I have to hunt up some songs for it. Maybe a few "Sesame Street" selections with a little swing, and maybe a Fred Rogers song thrown in ("It's You I Like" is one of my favorites) as well as "God Bless the Child", "Bein' Green", "Count Your Blessings Instead of Sheep", a couple of Disney songs, etc...we can have fun with this!

I also have a job interview (possibly 2) on Monday, and not sure what is going to happen the rest of the week, but I'll be ready. I really feel a lot better being out of MENC, and I feel bad about it in some ways. I feel like I did let people down, but by the same token I did the best I could in this position and my boss was just too much of a legend in his own mind. The commute was really wearing on me as well, but I miss the friends I've made. Sigh...I need to write Ella a thank you letter for the reference letter she put together for me. So much to do!

Well, other than what I've shared, the well is now dry as far as inspiration is concerned so I shall say toodle-oo until next time we meet...

Whimsically yours,
Sudiegirl