I no longer fear hell...for I have attended my grandfather's funeral.

I have been absent and am truly sorry for that.

I went back home to Iowa for my grandfather's funeral last weekend, so now I am like many others my age that have no grandparents left.

However, I doubt many folks have gone through life wishing their grandfather didn't exist in the first place.

It was rough being there...my family went to the visitation/funeral services, and it was sad to walk through the viewing room and look at all these pictures, only to see that the vast majority of them were of him with his cars or his guns, and with people that shared those interests. There were very few family photos, only ONE picture of any of the grandkids out where everyone could see, and only because it had an antique car featured in it as well. Most of the people in attendance were his car club/gun club/Masonic buddies. Not much family there,and none of us said "I love you, Grandpa". Doug was the one that pointed that out, and he was right. I didn't and I don't. I sang for him, and even gave a short speech, but I never said I loved him. However, I did say that it was important for the remaining family members to love each other no matter what, even if we never heard it from him. I hope I made a dent.

I have accepted condolences gracefully, even though the old man was a complete jerk to my mother and aunt for their entire lives. It's too much to cover in the BLOG and I want to keep their privacy, so let's just say he is a jerk and leave it at that.

I enjoyed being home and seeing the sights of my hometown and other assorted familiar places. My nieces and nephew have grown and changed so much and are beautiful human beings (although a bit on the squirrely side, as they are indeed MY kin), and all my cousins, my sister and I are getting older, although I'm still "the baby".

What was truly sad was this: my grandfather was the kind of man who didn't like to hear that he was doing anything wrong. He was CERTAIN that his way was the right way and anyone that didn't do things, like things, or believe in things like he did was nothing more than a Communist bed-wetter. Therefore, as his children and grandchildren got older and confronted him about his faults, he turned more and more to his friends and told his friends that his family didn't care about him. Moreover, he regarded his friends as more important than family, and did things for them that he never did for us...he gave them his love and approval. He created a family of "yes" men.

Postscript to this whole saga...the will reading was yesterday, and my grandfather cut my aunt and uncle out of the will, so my mom gets the contents of the house and garages. My mother made no bones about saying her dad was, quote, "mean and vindictive", and is splitting her inheritance with her sister ...the uncle kind of screwed up things in my mother's opinion so he's not going to get anything from her either. I'm kind of hoping Grandpa will get a spot in Hell next to Ed Gein, Jeffrey Dahmer, or Lizzie Borden at this point.

However, I want to report that we will be getting a beautiful set of antlers to hang on our wall.

Thank heaven for small favors.