The "first"...who it was, who it should have been, why does it matter?

"You never forget your first piece..."

"I'll always remember my first time..."

My God...if that's true, no wonder I'm in therapy.

Well, golly, there are many firsts that lead up to the big first that they write songs, movies, poems, and other stuff about. I guess I should start at the beginning.

First Kiss: I was 15, and the culprit was Gregg H from Keota, Iowa. He looked like a cross between Tom Hulce and Tom Jones, and he kissed me on his 16th birthday. It was raining, and I was walking him back to his car. We hugged, and then it just...happened. Things dissipated when he told me a month and 1/2 later that he was dating someone else, but then we dated for a couple months during my junior year of high school. He graduated before me and went off to college, and we hung out a couple of times after that, and then we went on with our lives. According to his mother, he's a psychiatrist now in Wisconsin, and according to a friend of mine, I should hit him up for free sessions, but I don't really think that's cool. I mean, he led me down the primrose path to self-destruction, but I didn't turn back...hell no.

First French kiss: Again, 15...this time, the culprit was Ken H, a guy I went to school with. (high school, that is.) He and I dated for a few months, then he dumped me to go out with one of my friends, who he married later on, then she divorced him. I don't know what he's doing, nor do I care, but his kisses were OK. A lot better than some, worse than others. Oh well...

First hickey/first feel-up: Fast forward to age 17...this time, it's on the steps of the Davenport Art Museum with Shawn E (who, by the way, I wound up working with years later at GEICO Direct...who knew?). We went out for dinner, and we were driving around and stopped at Vanderveer Park in Davenport. We went up the steps of the Museum and sat down, then proceeded to make out. In one night, I let a guy feel me up (with clothes on, of course) and give me a hickey. It was on my neck somewhere and I named it "Precious". It took about a week to fade. The relationship took about a month or two to fade...I broke it off because he would never write to me or call, and I kept getting in trouble for calling him long distance, and I was tired of it. My mother said, "Well, break up with him and tell him I told you to." So I did. Some of the best advice she ever gave, too.

First "under the clothes" feel-up, first heavy petting, first oral sex experience: That would have to be Chris M. We'd known each other since we were kids, but when I was a senior and he was a sophomore, we started dating. He had his own room in the attic, and oh man, the stuff we got away with. Many memories, almost too many to list here. There were many good times, and our relationship lasted about 7 months or so. We broke up, and it was ugly because we fought a lot towards the end. We recently rejuvenated our friendship, and he has proven to be a great friend that I'm honored to have back in my life. He just had a daughter, however, and I imagine she will be very well-protected if he remembers anything at all about our dating history or what he's done since. Should be interesting.

First kind-of sort-of marriage proposal: Cory H., the boy I dated the summer I graduated high school, gave me a promise ring and then a week later broke up with me. I sold the ring and bought a new dress and a ticket to the Whitney Houston concert at the UI. Take that, sucker. He's a year younger than me and already on his third wife, so I guess we're even.

First all-night date, also first time with someone more inexperienced than me: That would be Erik W. We're friends now and laugh about our escapades, but he was the first man I spent the entire night with that didn't run screaming the next morning. We never consummated anything (again, lots of heavy petting, not that I objected), and I really wanted him to be my first time, but things fell apart. It was sad, and it hurt for a long time. But now I'm OK, and we talk about the past and don't get all angst-filled about it (not much, anyway). He is also a father of a daughter, and it should be interesting seeing him go through the late nights when the daughter doesn't make her curfew. Geez. I should write a book. (I think I am).

First marriage proposal (for real, this time): My first husband proposed to me at The Brown Bottle, an Italian restaurant we liked. He spent all day planning what we would do, and he proposed to me at the table. He thought I was going to scream with joy when he showed me the ring, and I can't say he was wrong.

First time with sexual intercourse: Again, my first husband. It sucked. That's all I can say.

First extra-marital affair: The bassoon player, mentioned in a September entry, I believe. It was good in the sense that it confirmed for me that I like men, but bad in the sense that he broke my heart and stomped on it with golf cleats. He got dumped by his first wife who took their child and left him with 4 months of unpaid bills...well deserved, I must say.

Well, that's about all at this point. Thanks for letting me share!

Sudiegirl the jaded