thinkin' bout dogs...

I've been thinking about dogs a lot lately. I see owners walking dogs in my apartment complex...big dogs, little dogs...and I really want to know a few things.

1) When dogs mark their territory, is it kind of like a personal ad? If there was a sound chip, I have a feeling it would say, "Hi, my name is Bobo. I like to chase cars, catch frisbees and lick my balls. I'm a saucy Labrador who hasn't been fixed...yet."

2) Getting more mileage out of the "marking territory" bit...I would think that some of the marked territory would be like a "Post Secret" entry. I mean, a dog could sniff a bush and pick up, "I really don't like Alpo", or other confessions, like "I have a leg-humping problem and I'm so ashamed".

3) Do dogs secretly dislike Snoopy from "Peanuts"? Are they jealous of him?

4) How do dogs handle it when farts are blamed on them?