Thursday, August 16, 2007

Hither and yon, yea verily, I done be flittin'...

One of my new "blog friends",Tyler Durden, says he doesn't know much about my inner freak and wants to know why that is.

Hmmm...Since it's Friday, and I'm in the mood to just kind of discuss this sort of thing, let's run that puppy up the flagpole and see who salutes.

(Note to PETA: No actual puppies were run up flagpoles in pursuit of this quasi-literary goal so chill the f**k out, OK?)

It's not the fact that I don't HAVE an inner freak. No. Not in the least.

It's just the fact that my inner freak hasn't gotten out much. Let's face much as I would have loved to explore more of my freakiness, I did come from a white-bread background. Granted, the white bread did have jelly on it sometimes, and occasionally even grilled cheese or sloppy joes. However, the white bread never changed to wheat, rye, or pumpernickel. It has remained fairly white and enriched with vitamins and minerals by some guy in a commercial bakery named Fred.

I've had opportunities for the freakishness, and to be honest, some freakiness did occur. But it wasn't exhilarating most of time. It was exhausting. I didn't get into it personally. And some of the freakiness was bad freakiness as opposed to good.

Also, I have family members on my late father's side of the fence that read this blog and gossip about the contents therein. They take great delight in discussing my mental health, as well as the general topic of how much better they are than we are. They share their viewpoints with whoever will listen, and usually don't let the truth of the situation get in the way of a good story. They also compound the situation with lots o' booze, which is always a plus as far as accuracy is concerned...NOT!

My mother and sister (plus the nieces and nephew) get the fall out from this, and I try to be considerate of their feelings. The majority of my evil and good family members live together in my happy vanilla white bread hometown back home in Iowegia, and have a lot of people in I've promised to be good.

So you'll get more freak if one of these things happens:

  1. The offending members of this family pass on in bizarre gardening accidents (not the good family members...i.e. mom, sister, nieces, nephew, assorted cousins)
  2. The same offenders collectively lose the power of reading comprehension

In the meantime, I'll throw in enough freak to make it interesting, but not enough to make it incriminating.

Happy, Tyler?