Monday, November 20, 2006

"Huh" for peace?

Another "Huh?" award is given...

Recipients: Donna Sheehan, 76, and Paul Reffell, 55.
Reason: These folks are responsible for the movement The Global Orgasm for Peace.

To quote the article:

The Global Orgasm for Peace was conceived by Donna Sheehan, 76, and Paul Reffell, 55, whose immodest goal is for everyone in the world to have an orgasm Dec. 22 while focusing on world peace.

Scoff if you must, but apparently there is some scientific proof that this is actually feasible. Mr. Reffell stated the following:

"The orgasm gives out an incredible feeling of peace during it and after it," Reffell said Sunday. "Your mind is like a blank. It's like a meditative state. And mass meditations have been shown to make a change."

The couple have studied evolutionary psychology and believe that war is mainly an outgrowth of men trying to impress potential mates, a case of "my missile is bigger than your missile," as Reffell put it.

There is a method to their madness as well:

By promoting what they hope to be a synchronized global orgasm, they hope to get people to channel their sexual energy into something more positive. "The dream is to have everyone in the world (take part)," Reffell said. "And if that means laying down your gun for a few minutes, then hey, all the better."

Judge's comments:

Oh lord...I'll probably lose all feeling in my hands by the time this entry is typed.

Let's start with the basics: These two folks think that if everyone takes Friday, December 22nd off and then "get off", world peace will happen.


Don't get me wrong - I've got a fairly healthy appetite for matters of the carnal type (although my meds have stunted it a smidge). This is a project that doesn't discriminate against gender preference, nor does it require you to even have a partner. However, I do have some questions:

(1) If one is performing this action for world peace "solo" and - say - sprains their wrist or develops carpal tunnel syndrome, who is liable?

(2) Will there be a world-wide increase in Viagra prescriptions?

(3) Will stores of all sorts have to stock up on batteries even more?

(4) Will underage activism be allowed?

(5) Who pays for dinner?

(6) What if you fake it? Do you get a do-over?

(7) Are those folks who favor "rough stuff" prohibited from this program since it's all about peace?

(8) What about carnal relations with animals? Is this a "get out of jail free" offer?

(9) Does this mean that this would be the one day a year that Eddie Deezen could get laid?

(10) Would taking the day off count as a government holiday?

These are important questions that need to be addressed, folks. If anyone else has a question to contribute, please do so in the comments. Our world's peace depends on it.