Sunday, October 08, 2006

Today's Moment of Dad...quickie..."Mom, Dad, Michael Landon and Buttered Popcorn"

This will be a fairly short MoD (Moment of Dad) today, as I didn't start on this until fairly late.

My bad.'re looking at the title and thinking, "Whaaaahhhhh?" (Come on, admit it...I know you are...)

Well. Let me lay it out for you.

Like many couples before and since, Mom and Dad liked to go to the movies (or, as Dad called it, "the show"). Both of them liked westerns, a good comedy, an adventure or a mystery. (Neither one of them got into love stories unless it was John Wayne in love with his horse...)

Anyway, one time (I think this was early in their relationship) Dad and Mom went to see "I Was A Teenage Werewolf". Yep...they went to see good ol' Michael Landon act like James Dean only with fur on his lips and blood on his, paws. This was Michael Landon's "big break" movie before he went on to "Bonanza", "Little House on the Prairie" and "Highway to Heaven". That's all the positive stuff I have to say about Mr. Landon, so let's move on to the real stars of this story, Mom and Dad. I have recreated this little wrinkle in time based on the past stories of this dramatic moment...draw in closer, my friends...

(Fade in to an older type movie theater in the days before multiplexes. The screen is the size of Rhode Island, with actual velvet curtains and matching color seats. Mom and Dad Dawson are sitting in their seats before the movie starts, quietly chatting...)

Dad: Mary, I've been on my feet all day. Could you get us some buttered popcorn and drinks? I've got the money.

Mom: Why sure, John...I'll be right back.

(Dad hands Mom about $2.00 - approximate amount - and Mom goes to the concession stand. Mom returns with buttered popcorn and two drinks, and hands dad about 25 cents in change.)

Dad: (staring at change in his hand, then looking back at Mom) Did you leave some change at the counter?

Mom: (unsure) No. Why?

Dad: Well, I should have gotten more change back than THIS. Did you get something extra?

Mom: (slightly peeved) No, John. Did you forget that popcorn with BUTTER is a little more expensive?

Dad: Well, what did they do, get it fresh from the COW??? How much did the butter cost?

Mom: (matter-of-factly) Fifty cents.

Dad: (shocked) FIFTY CENTS????

Mom: (embarassed) John, keep your voice down!

(The lights go down and the movie starts. Throughout the film, according to Mom, Dad muttered "fifty cents" under his breath like a curse word.)

Looking back, I guess that's why we didn't go to the movies as a family...Dad didn't have time to get a loan from the bank so we could get popcorn.

But you know, I think buttered popcorn is free in heaven. So eat up, Dad.

Thus endeth today's Moment of Dad.