Thursday, October 19, 2006

Entry #700, and a startling scientific fact!

Yes, this is entry #700, and I'd like to say thanks to all those who put up with - er, I mean, READ and ENJOY - my ramblings.

Now, on to the business at hand:

Yes, I know it's quite startling, but recent facts have come to light that if she ISN'T Darth Vader, they're at LEAST cousins.

Don't believe me? Well, here's an in-depth analysis from the good folks at Rancho Sudiegirl, Inc., where our motto is, "Follow the trail of blood and you'll find your killer."

(OK, that's lame, so what?)

First, two of the beginning paragraphs of the article linked in this post's title:

Lawyers for Paul McCartney said Wednesday that he will "vigorously" defend himself against allegations that he physically abused his estranged wife, Heather Mills McCartney.

"Our client will be defending these allegations vigorously and appropriately," law firm Payne Hicks Beach, representing Paul McCartney, said in a statement.

First of all, I am SO GLAD that McCartney's lawyers have said this. I would hate to think that he would just LIE there and be steam-rollered most heinously. Oh, wait...he already has been. I'll bet he's kicking himself the entire length of Wembley Stadium about that whole pre-nup thing. "STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!"

Next items to comment on? Here we go...

The 64-year-old rocker and 38-year-old anti-land mine campaigner announced their separation in May and have begun divorce proceedings in an increasingly acrimonious split. They have a 3-year-old daughter, Beatrice.

Mills McCartney's spokesman, Phil Hall, described the divorce proceedings as "highly confidential" and said he could not confirm whether the document cited in the report was genuine. He said Mills McCartney had been "shocked" by the Daily Mail's story.

OK...I've asked this before, and I'll ask it again...what the hell is up with that huge age difference? I'm not a prude by any means, but COME ON. It's not like Paul McCartney is UNKNOWN. He didn't just pop out of nowhere after an illustrious career as a door-to-door salesman. The man is WORLD FAMOUS. She knew, she set her trap, and he actually believes in love and romance. *Sudiegirl rolls eyes*

Secondly, I have learned that when a lawyer says "they can't confirm" something, it means that they can. Also, it means that they're scrambling like maniacs trying to FIX it.

Finally, is Heather "shocked" as in, "Oh my god, what happened?" or "Oh my god, I didn't think they were going to print it until the weekend?" I'm guessing the latter, but that's because I"m bitter and angry.

So let's get on with the nasty details:

The newspaper did not reveal how it had acquired the document, which alleges that McCartney once attacked his wife with a broken wine glass, stabbing her in the arm and causing profuse bleeding. It also claims that he used illegal drugs and drank to excess.

The newspaper reported that the purported 13-page submission also alleged that McCartney had pushed his estranged wife into a bathtub while she was pregnant with their child. It said the document, said to be filed by Mills McCartney in response to the former Beatle's divorce petition, lodged in July, also claimed McCartney had later objected to his partner breast-feeding their daughter.

The newspaper quoted the alleged court papers as saying McCartney had told his wife "they are my breasts."

It reported that the document alleged McCartney had grabbed his wife's neck and started choking her during a trip to the U.S. in 2003 and on an earlier occasion pushed her over a coffee table.

Mills McCartney is reported to claim in the legal papers that in late 2005 her husband forced her to cancel surgery for two months, as it interfered with their holiday plans.

OK...I'm not a McCartney fan. Let's get that straight right now. My favorite Beatles were George Harrison and Ringo Starr.

But my personal preference doesn't mean doodly-squat at this point. These allegations seem so far out to me. He seemed like "Mr. Perfect Husband" when he was married to Linda Eastman. Could it be that there was darkness in that union? If there was, it was very well hidden. As far as someone saying, "Well, Heather/Linda (depending on who you're discussing) could have gotten out anytime she wanted," I'm here to say, NOPE. It's never that simple.

If she's making it up, then she deserves to fry for perjury and defamation of character.

And about that whole thing with the newspaper not knowing where they got the document? From a courthouse staffer that wanted to make a few bucks, that's how. DUH! Doesn't anyone watch "Law and Order"?


Mishcon de Reya, the law firm representing Mills McCartney in the divorce, said it would not comment on "leaked or allegedly leaked documents." It said it could not confirm whether or not a response to McCartney's divorce petition had been lodged with a court. "Mills McCartney stands by everything that has been filed at court on her behalf and intends to prove its truth in due course should this be necessary," the law firm said in a statement.

So what in God's name does THAT mean? Apparently, it means that she is going for the jugular. At best, she's telling the truth. At worst, she's a damned supermodel land-shark that isn't content with the gazillions she'll get at the end of all this crap. I think her next husband should be someone upstanding, like...uh...a member of La Casa Nostra? That way, if she wants a divorce, she'll get a "Sicilian" one, where alimony is not a factor.

The final comment from the article?

"Our client is saddened by the breakdown of his marriage and requests that his family is allowed to conduct their personal affairs out of the media spotlight for the sake of everybody involved," the statement added.

Oh yeah, he's sad. Between his idiocy at not signing a pre-nup and these new allegations, he'd be plenty sad.

So yes, this article indeed gives us further proof that...
Again, apologies to Darth Vader for possible defamation of character. In case you need to contact my lawyer, Mr. Vader, she's a Maine Coon cat by the name of Millie.

I'll be back with more crackpot theories and other picture postcards...