Wednesday part deux...some awards and a thought for the day (among other surprises)

Award time!

First, an "Egg-Suckin' Dog" Award...

Recipients: Twelve nameless taxi drivers in Chongqing, Beijing, China.

Reason: None of them would stop to take a WOMAN IN LABOR to a hospital that was only 300 meters away (not sure of the measurement in miles...if anyone knows, please tell me!)

To quote the article:

The woman, surnamed Wang, and her husband were initially heading for a hospital in a taxi in the southwestern city of Chongqing, the Beijing News said.

But when Wang went into labour and started moaning, the driver stopped the car at a traffic light and dragged the husband out, shouting "Don't deliver the baby in my car, or I'll have very bad luck throughout the year!".

Double plus bonus? The temperature was 41 degrees Celsius/106 degrees Fahrenheit.

Happy ending? Yep, fortunately - mother and son doing well despite prolonged exposure to the heat. In addition, other people did come and do what they could to help. An ambulance was called, but took two hours to arrive, and by then the mother gave birth to a 7.5 lb. baby boy.

Judge's comments:
I am superstitous, but not to the degree of these taxi drivers. I guess I'll never understand what fear can do to a person. If it were me, even though I'm not a fan of real blood, I'd drive the woman. I already have bad luck most of the time, so what's a little more going to do to me? NOTHING.

As my hero Stevie Wonder says, "Superstition ain't the way."

Next, the "Few Fries Short of a Happy Meal" Award...


Recipient: Joseph Greenquist, age 18, Londonderry NH.

Reason: He stole women's underwear from various inhabitants of an apartment bulding near the University of New Hampshire campus. The dude was found in a video store wearing nothing but a pair of women's underwear.

To quote the article:

It turned out that Joseph Greenquist, 18, of Londonderry, was later arrested on charges of breaking into apartments near the University of New Hampshire campus, stealing underwear and attempting to assault a woman. Police said a knapsack full of lady's undergarments was stashed nearby.

Judge's comments:

I think I've finally figured out why I've never been the victim of a crime like this.

Two words - GRANNY. PANTIES.

There...you have a secret on me. I've never gotten into the really racy stuff, because I feel like it's wearing me. Any man that's dumb enough to go into my underwear drawer is probably searching for a tarp instead and Home Depot isn't open yet.

However, this dude honestly needs some help. Either that, or he should be a line inspector at Hanes Her Way as long as he doesn't steal product from the inventory.

_____

And now, from the "Can I claim Hershey bars as pre-tax medical expenses?" files...

According to this article, the director of Nigeria's Federal Agency for Food and Medicine says it's a possibility. To quote the article:

... Dr. Dora Akunyili, the director of Nigeria's Federal Agency for Food and Medicine, in advising Nigerians on Monday to forego the little, libido-boosting blue pills in favor of a measured dose of cocoa. To back up her claims -- made during a meeting with the vice-governor of one of Nigeria's states -- the good doctor cited a recently published study extolling the libidinal qualities of cocoa beans. The report, produced by Nigeria's national committee for the development of cocoa, may be a bit skimpy on double-blind scientific tests, but it does refer to the marketing campaign of a British trade association making similar claims.

This marketing campaign is called "Feeding Your Imagination", with the products being six different chocolate bars enhanced with essential oils. And of COURSE they have provocative names:

Sexy, Beautiful, Dreamy, Fantastic, Sensual and Lovely

Gee, if you had one more adjective you could create an erotic version of the 7 Dwarves.

However, something tells me that this movement has more to do with promoting chocolate (since the vice governor is also - SURPRISE - the head of a committee to promote chocolate) than the magical healing power of cocoa beans.

Just in case, though...pass that can of Hershey's syrup.

_____

Finally, a quote of the day...

"Revolt and terror pay a price. Order and law have a cost."

— Carl Sandburg, American poet and author (AND FELLOW MIDWESTERNER...) (1878-1967)

Sudiegirl's response:

Either way, better keep the receipt.