Monday...some awards...some weirdness.

Atlanta airport unveils new bag screener
(His name is Ted, and he's an Aquarius.)

Today in history:

In 1782, George Washington created the Order of the Purple Heart, a decoration to recognize merit in enlisted men and noncommissioned officers.

(No mocking here...that's a good thing. Of course, it'd be better if they didn't have to fight in the first place, but at least they're recognized for their sacrifice and service.)

Well, it's another Monday here, and so far I've only gotten one response to my query about tipping, a.k.a "What Would Millie Do?"

Pointmeister says this: My method is the insulting one. Give me bad service at a restaurant and you get a tip of exactly 1 cent - that's right one penny. I will and have done that. Of course, the service has to be extremely bad to merit a single penny.

However, Jules didn't even answer the question. (She's such a rebel...)

Here's what Jules had to say: Monty, the Boy Toy and I went to a restaurant on Sat. that served "Millie's Grits." We were picturing Millie as a little old lady, not a cat. After much persuasion, Jules fessed up...Fine, I'll answer the dang question! But I dont' like any of your choices. If I get bad service, I usually complain to the manager. But once that didn't even do any good, so I got out the penny rolls I had in my purse (to take to the bank later) and dumped them in the glass full of tea.

*****Fresh off the counter: Des says: One time part of the bad service I received was that the waitress wouldn't give me change for a $20 so I could even leave her a tip. So she got a $20 tip. However it was left in a glass full of soy sauce. It was childish and it took a long time to fill the glass up, but I felt better.

*****Another fresh one, this time from Crystal: Leave a tip. in the bottom of my tea glass.

So that means we've got three glasses with tips (two iced tea, one soy sauce) and a one penny tip. Keep it comin', folks! Don't leave your favorite redhead hangin'!

To review the question- if YOU received bad service at a restaurant, what would you do? Click here for the choices, or be original and answer your way!

Anyway...on to other subjects. We have a few awards to give today, so let's not waste any more time, shall we?

First up, the "Blinded Me With Science!" award...

Recipient: Hans-Hilger Ropers, director at Max-Planck-Institute for Molecular Genetics in Berlin

Reason: Invention of an "anti-stupid" pill.

To quote the article, which can be read in full here:

The scientist..."has tested a pill thwarting hyperactivity in certain brain nerve cells, helping stabilize short-term memory and improve attentiveness."

Judge's comments:

Uh - what? That doesn't sound like a "Flowers for Algernon" thing...more like a new kind of ADD/ADHD drug. Don't we already have that?

But if there WERE an anti-stupid pill, I'm not sure I'd want to give it to the people I think are stupid. Why? Many reasons:

1. Some people are entertaining as well as stupid, and I'd rather be entertained, thank you very much.

2. It's kind of like being "born-again"...there's no one more annoying than an enthusiastic convert. If anyone has seen "The Lawnmower Man" (with Pierce Brosnan and *sigh* Jeff Fahey), you remember how he would speed through music CDs just to say he knew what type of music was playing, but he didn't take time to enjoy it.

If anything, I'd want to give a pill to people that are already stupid so they remain so. You can't throw off the balance of the universe - otherwise you'll have CHAOS, I tells ya!!!

OK...enough of that stuff...our next winner actually gets TWO awards today. One is an "International League of Buttheads" designation, and the other is the "Bonehead Decision Award". That means he's DOUBLY special.

Winner: Bryan Schoonover

Reason: He broke into a candy store with a pair of "tighty-whities" (aka briefs) on his head.

Quotes from article (which you can read in full here):

When a burglar raided a Kansas candy store, police say, he chose a unique disguise: A pair of tighty-whities on his head.

"There were footprints all over the door," said candy shop manager Fred Prez. "He kicked the door in and then pushed the refrigerator blocking it."

Looking through one of the underwear's leg holes, with the other on top of his head, Schoonover made his way to the register and took $160 from the drawer.

On his way out, Schoonover allegedly stopped by the fudge counter and took two slabs of chocolate pecan fudge worth approximately $70.

And The Best News Pun Ever:

(at the home of the suspect)...Jordan said, Prairie Village police found "multiple items of evidence" related to the burglary. Jordan wouldn't disclose the recovered evidence, but referred to them as "fruits of the crime."

Oh yeah - he's definitely worthy of two awards. He'd better get over that sweet tooth.

Finally, in the "We Aim To Please With a Right To The Jaw" department, a unique method of stress relief has been found.

If you click here, you can read about a bar in China (to be specific, Nanjing city, Beijing, China) that allows customers to blow off steam by beating up the wait staff, breaking glassware, yelling, and screaming.

The management has prepared for every feasible possibility...to quote the article:

The bar employs 20 well-built men in their 20s and 30s who have agreed to be hit. Customers can specify how they want the men to appear -- they can even be dressed up as women, the China Daily said. The "Rising Sun Anger Release Bar" does prepare their wait staff for their beatings - they wear protective gear, and also provides their staff with regular physical training so they can protect themselves as best they can.

In addition...quote...If these anger management techniques do not work, the customers can also receive psychological counselling, the paper said.

Of course, the usual complaints are heard..."This encourages violence, and that's bad..." but COME ON! A punching bag in a gym is not the same thing!

I mean, if you hit a real person hard enough, you'll hear real sound effects..."OOF! OUCH! AAAHHH!". At a gym, they won't even let you draw a face on a punching bag.

Personally, I think it's great. This brings up the question, "Who would I want to beat up in a bar that allowed fistfights?" Oh...here we go.

1. The Pres and The Vice-Pres

2. My first husband

3. A couple of old boyfriends

4. My high-school choral director

5. My sixth-grade teacher, Mrs. G

6. Madonna

7. Paris Hilton

8. Ann Coulter (actually, she'd break like a twig)

9. A snotty girl from high school that made fun of me because I was pale - but I must admit, she did get some cosmic revenge when she laid out one weekend without her top on and sunburnt her boobs.

10. An old college room-mate that stole from me and another room-mate, but we couldn't prove it. Her mother was a lawyer...makes me wonder if Mommy had to clear up some other five-fingered discounts.

How about you all? Any people you'd like to beat up if you were in a bar that allowed such activity? Don't be shy - leave your answer in the comments.

And with that, I am off - once again, harrassing others.

Peace and Love,

Sudiegirl