And now, from the "It's the End of the World as We Know It and I Feel Fine" files and Yahoo! News...

Sudiegirl sez: Well…I just have to mention this. My twin niece and nephew were born on June 6, 1994 and the fact that they turn 12 and enter “teenage-hood” on this day is indeed scary. But I would not go so far as to equate their coming of age with Armageddon. Their mother’s labor pains? That’s another story. This should be an interesting romp – let’s see what cooks, shall we?

Curiosity, humor surround June 6, 2006
By SETH BORENSTEIN, AP Science Writer
Sun Jun 4, 3:43 PM ET

Is Tuesday's date — 6-6-6 — merely a curious number or could it mean our number is up? (Well, technically, it’s 6-6-06, so I think some folks might be REACHING A BIT.)

There's a devilishly odd nexus of theology, mathematics and commercialism on the sixth day of the sixth month of the sixth year. OK, it's just the sixth year of this millennium, but insisting on calling it 2006 takes the devil-may-care fun out of calendar-gazing. (It does? Really? Nobody told me.)

Something about the number 666 brings out the worry, the hope and even the humor in people, said the Rev. Felix Just, a professor of theology at the University of San Francisco. A Jesuit priest, Just has taught both apocalyptic theory and mathematics and maintains a "666-Numbers of the Beast" Web site that contains history, theology, math and precisely 66 one-line jokes about 666. (Only 66 jokes? Why not 666 jokes?)

You can even make sport of it, betting online whether the apocalypse will happen on that date. (As far as my sister is concerned, the apocalypse would only happen on this date if the twins were both old enough to get drivers’ licenses.)

The good news is that one online oddsmaker has made the world a 100,000-to-1 favorite to survive Tuesday — something that Just said is supported by theology.
(OK…explain this “end of the world” stuff to me. I go to church, believe in God – or “Big Ernie”, as Hoss calls him, and all that. Given everything that might happen if the end of the world approaches, why in the name of David Hasselhoff should we even worry about it? If death is instantaneous, it’s not like we’re gonna KNOW what’s happening. If death is not instantaneous, we might as well not worry because we’re gonna die soon and there isn’t even going to be a Motel 6 around to crash in. I say live life to the fullest and more than likely we won’t live to see the end of the world anyway. I’m not much of a doomsday believer, except when it comes to taxes and my future mother-in-law coming to visit and insisting that she stay with us.)

"Many people avoid the number; they're afraid of it almost and there's absolutely no reason to be afraid of it," Just said. "It is not a prediction of future events. It is not supposed to be taken as a timetable for when the world is going to end." (Well, apparently several million people haven’t gotten the memo on that one yet.)

It all started with Revelation 13:18 in the Bible: "This calls for wisdom: let him who has understanding reckon the number of the beast, for it is a human number, its number is six hundred and sixty-six." (Maybe that’s just the number he drew at the DMV?)

The beast is also known as the Antichrist, according to some apocalyptic theories. (However, he’s known by his bowling league as “Fast Eddie”. His wife calls him “Pookie” and his boss calls him “Hey You.” Sorry for assuming that the Beast is male – again, a weakness of mine.)

Many scholars, such as Just, say the beast is really a coded reference — using Hebrew letters for numbers — for the despotic Roman emperor Nero and 616 appears instead of 666 in some ancient manuscripts. The Book of Revelation isn't prophesying a specific end of times but "is about the overall cosmic struggle of good versus evil," Just said. (Tell that to the yutzes walking around with signs and robes. Something tells me they’d just look at you blankly and start marching around again.)

But for some more apocalyptic theologians, the end of times is coming, even if not specifically on Tuesday. The evangelical Raptureready.com Web site puts its "rapture index" at 156, calling that "fasten your seatbelts" time. (Rapture index? That sounds like something you’d find in Cosmopolitan magazine – “How strong are YOUR orgasms? Use the Rapture index to find out!” And 156 seems like a number they just kind of pulled out of thin air, don’t you think?)

It's not the date June 6 that's worrisome, but the signs in our society of the approach of the 666 antichrist, said the Rev. Tim LaHaye, founder of a self-named ministry and co-author of the best-selling "Left Behind" series of apocalyptic novels. (Oh, here we go…paranoia disguised as craptastic literature.) And even though LaHaye said Tuesday isn't the date of the apocalypse, his Left Behind Web site promotes his new book "The Rapture" with an ominous "06.06.06 Will You Be Ready." (So it’s a marketing tool?)

"I don't think that people understand that 666 is not a good time," LaHaye said. He said he sees signs of an upcoming "tribulation period" that leads to the Antichrist's arrival in a movement toward one-world government, a single economic system and single religion. (So what – LaHaye’s mad because he didn’t think of it first?)

Apocalyptic culture and theology, especially those surrounding 666, "is especially appealing for people in an underdog situation," said Just (pronounced Yoost). (I’m glad the reporter finally took this time to clarify the pronunciation of Just’s name…it took him long enough!)

So people have looked for — and found — 666 in all sorts of places. Believers in the number's power have used biblical letter-numeric code to convert the names of countless political leaders, including many popes, to come out 666, marking them as that generation's Antichrist. That includes Franklin Delano Roosevelt, John F. Kennedy, Ronald Reagan and Bill Clinton. (I just wanna know – do these people have STRAIGHT JOBS? Do they spend all day doing these Armageddon story problems? There’s a lot more in this world that’s worthy of your time, folks…I’m just sayin’.)

It's a number that the Reagans didn't want as an address when they moved out of the White House in 1989 to the Los Angeles neighborhood of Bel-Air. So they changed their address from 666 St. Cloud Road to 668. (Gee – why didn’t they pick out another HOUSE if that made such a difference?)

In 1980, a TV host and others rigged the number 666 to come up in a Pennsylvania lottery drawing. (To what end? Did the people in question keep their jobs?)

It's a number that is part of every UPC barcode on groceries (a coincidence according to the code's inventor).

With biblical coding, 666 also is the number for the WWW of the World Wide Web. (I think it’s also tattooed on the back of Tom Cruise’s neck, but that’s just a theory…)

The math of 666 is also open to biblical interpretation and manipulation. Just points out that 666 is the sum of all the numbers on a roulette wheel. Other oddities include variations on pi and products of prime number multiplication. (OK…that’s it…NO MORE MATH!!!!!! It’s just creating bad vibes here.)

There's also something special about the number 6, which in the Bible stands for man, said Brian C. Jones, a religion professor at Wartburg College in Iowa. (WOO-HOO! YEAH! Go Wartburg! Uh…yeah.)

"People need to lighten up about this," Jones said. He noted that Tuesday has a more neutral reputation than other days, like dreaded Monday or bad-luck Friday the 13th. (D, by the way, was born on a Friday the 13th. Poor guy…)

But this Tuesday is a day to cash in on the number associated with the apocalypse. It will mark the debut for a remake of the classic 1970s horror film "The Omen," the publication of LaHaye's new "Left Behind" book, and an Ann Coulter polemic called "Godless: The Church of Liberalism." (Well…I’ll probably want to skip all three because the original movie will be better than the remake, LaHaye’s a hack, and Ann Coulter gets on my last nerve. Some day, I’ll write a book called “Ann Coulter Needs to Drink a Few Shots of Tequila And Get Laid”.)

And for truly cashing in, there's the nonsectarian online sports book, BetUS.com, which gives Earth a better than sporting chance. At 100,000-to-1 odds, if you bet the maximum $500 that the world will survive and it does, you win half a penny. (WOO-HOO! Party-time!) If you bet $100 that the apocalypse happens and it does, you can earn a cool $10 million, but you might have a devil of a time collecting it. People are betting both ways, company spokesman Mike Foreman said. (Ah yes…”A fool and their money are soon making bookies rich.”)

Commercialism based on numbers and fear bothers American University astronomer Richard Berendzen. (This makes me think of a punch line by Steve Martin – “I wouldn’t believe in anything if it weren’t my lucky astrology mood watch.”)

"What it really does is use some coincidence of some numbers for commercial gain," he said. "It's superstition and money when it comes down to it. And that's about as satanic as you can get." (Yeah, I’d have to agree. And as Stevie Wonder says, “Superstition ain’t the way.”)

Still scared about the date 666? Jack Horkheimer of the Miami Space Transit Planetarium has a piece of advice: "If it really spooks you, you can stand on your head and it'll be 999." (I KNEW I liked him for some reason!)
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On the Net:
Rev. Felix Just's Numbers of the Beast 666 Web site:
http://catholic-resources.org/Bible/666.htm

Raptureready.com's rapture index: http://www.raptureready.com/rap2.html

Math fun with the numbers 666: http://users.aol.com/s6sj7gt/mike666.htm

The "Left Behind" series: http://www.leftbehind.com/

Sudiegirl’s final opinion? Well, happy birthday Cam and Chloe…hopefully this won’t affect your birthday plans TOO much. I’ll send some demon repellant.