Mangled Maundy Thursday headlines and a DC etiquette question
McCain Courting Iowa Conservatives
(Well, I guess that brings more dimension to what a feller expects if he pays for dinner, doesn't it? "I WILL RULE YOU ALL!!!!!! EEEEEEEHHHH!!!!" Oops...Howard Dean imitation...sorry...my bad.)
Winnie the Pooh Gets Hollywood Star 
(In a related story, Eeyore went on a Xanax bender and was last spotted at a strip club stuffing Monopoly money in a stripper's g-string since Disney doesn't require real money in the Hundred Acre Wood. He was quoted as saying, "Thanks for noticin' me...give me another shot of Jagermeister.")
Geologists Find Ancient Worm Feces(Oh man. Yet another job to lie about at a class reunion. "I look for ancient worm poo...oops, I mean, I work at IBM." Don’t get me wrong…I appreciate science, but sometimes there’s things you really wonder about in terms of whether they’re worth looking for. Like old worm poop.)
(It's cheaper to use binoculars and a map, isn't it?)
Dave Chappelle Talks About His TV Exit
(Hopefully, we'll find out if he used a door or a window.)
Woman Dies After Disney Ride 
(Note to self: don't ride the It's A Small World ride if I develop diabetes...)
OK…here’s an etiquette dilemma I had yesterday.
I was riding on the Metro yesterday afternoon, sitting in a seat along the wall of the train.
A male passenger got on at some point, and he was approximately 5’9” or 5’10” when standing, so while sitting, I was eye-level to his waist line.
He had his back to me for the longest time, and finally he turned.
(BTW, I know this sounds like something from Penthouse Forum…deal with it. It’s not as deviant as it seems.)
I wasn’t looking for it, but there it was…his fly was half-way open.
I couldn’t see anything, but it was open enough that you could see it was open. Does that make sense?
Honest to GOD, I’m not a pervert. I don’t go around checking out people’s flies on a daily basis. However, when it’s crowded and you’re pretty much stuck in that position, you can’t really help but notice. I mean, I could have closed my eyes and thought of England, but at some point I would need to open them, and there it is, staring at me…gaping.
I wasn’t offended by it either. I mean, everyone has had an accidental open fly at one time or another…I know I have.
But here was my dilemma…and my etiquette question to boot. If you are in a public place (in this case, The Metro) and are in close proximity to the fly in question, what do you do? Is it proper to mention to the person, in a hushed voice, that their fly is open? Or should you just leave them alone so they don’t think you’re a raging freak of some sort?
I did an impromptu, informal survey of two people.
One was D, who was waiting for me at the Metro stop when I told him about it. He didn’t know what the right answer would be.
The second was my mother, who, when I asked her, answered with an equivocal NO. She said, “He might be a pervert or something, and might try something with you if you mention his fly.” Ah yes, my mother, the Methodist Communion steward, taking the high road.
So now, I’m asking you…if you were faced with that same situation, what would you do? I didn’t do anything, BTW. I let him go home to whoever he goes home to, and I imagine they noticed and said, “My God…did you go around like that ALL DAY?”
Poor guy…I wish Miss Manners had addressed this once.
Your etiquette-challenged but lovable bipolar redhead,
Sudiegirl
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