And now, from the "Coyote Without A Subway Pass" files and Yahoo! News...

Sudiegirl sez: Apparently, the reporter writing this was under the influence of Looney Tunes. I couldn’t have come up with a better pun myself!

Wily coyote caught in New York's Central Park
By Ellen Freilich
Wed Mar 22, 1:36 PM ET

A coyote that came to New York to dine on duck in Central Park was caught on Wednesday after leading police and park rangers on a two-day chase. (Jeez…a coyote can’t even go out to dinner in peace?)

The coyote, a year-old, tawny-colored male, which is thought to have made its way to the city from the countryside to the north, was tracked down near 79th Street inside the 843-acre (341-hectare) park, officials said. (Did he have boxes from the “Acme” corporation with him?)

"He's a very adventurous coyote to travel to midtown Manhattan," Parks Commissioner Adrian Benepe told reporters. (Well, he’s survived numerous falls off cliffs, explosions, earthquake pills, being crushed by boulders…this is NOTHING!)

He said the animal was cornered in the southeast section of the park early on Wednesday before escaping over an 8-foot fence and crossing some water to make its way north.

"This is the wildest of the wild animals we've seen here," Benepe said, noting that the last time a coyote was captured in the park was in 1999. (Well, it’s not like he had strippers and a beer bong with him, ya know…)

"It was a very quiet coyote, not howling at the moon and not looking to be noticed," Benepe said, adding that it was apparently drawn to the nature sanctuary where there was less human scent. (However, blueprints for elaborate mechanisms with which to kill road runners were found at the scene.)

Local television stations showed footage of police and park rangers running through the park in pursuit of the animal, which has been hunting ducks and other birds, leaving piles of feathers in its wake. (They could have been from pillows! That doesn’t prove a thing.)

"Our thought is that it came in from Westchester County and then came south through the Bronx before getting to the park," parks spokeswoman Carli Smith said. "They're not a threat," Smith said. "They typically avoid human interaction." (Well, real humans don’t live in Westchester County anyway…just snobs with too many golf clubs and not enough sense.)

The animal was first spotted on Sunday and was seen again on Tuesday, when emergency services and park authorities launched a full-scale search. It was spotted on a baseball field near a nature sanctuary on Wednesday. (Ah, a Yankees fan!)

Actor Dick Hughes, who was walking in the park on Wednesday, said the coyote was a "nice touch of nature." (Uh-huh. A nice touch of nature that could rip your head off if it had rabies.)

"The last thing I'm worried about in New York is a coyote. I wonder if the coyote is worried about us," Hughes said. "It's New York. Check its papers and let it go." (But what if the coyote joins the Latin Kings? Or the Crips? What if it develops a potato chip habit or something? You never know…)

Benepe said the coyote was being kept in a cage while it recovers from the tranquilizer darts used to capture it, and it was expected to be taken back to the country. (Here’s what I want to know…when are they going to make tranquilizer darts available to the general public? I mean, come on! There’s at least five people I know of that need them! Hook a girl up, why don’t ya?)

"The important thing is to get the coyote out of harm's way and into a more natural habitat," Benepe said. (I guess I didn’t really consider Westchester County, NY as a coyote’s natural habitat unless he drove a BMW and made $100K a year. That means he could vote for Hilary Clinton if she runs for Senate re-election.)

The landscaped park at the heart of Manhattan includes reservoirs, a zoo and wilderness areas, offering plenty of cover for a coyote. (You know what? I’ll bet the coyote could be considered a local hero if he ate a mime! It takes brilliance to come up with ideas like this, I tell you what. My teachers never understood my brilliance, but that’s their loss, I guess.)

Jonathan Ellers, director of a wildlife theater program at Central Park Zoo, expressed admiration for the coyote. (OK…what is a wildlife theater program? Is it like community theater, where they stage all-squirrel productions of “Guys and Dolls”, or dramatic readings of “Death Of A Salesman” starring a hippopotamus? The more life progresses, the less I understand. Must be a New York thing.)

"I'm all for him. He's an urban fellow and pretty darned resourceful," said Ellers, who was walking in the park. (OK…does it really matter what Mr. Ellers thinks? He’s just wanting some animal to play the lead in his latest production of “Little Foxes”, and since there are no foxes available or interested, he’s just going to dye the poor coyote red and cut off his legs so he’ll be the right size, right? I’ve done community theater, and I know what problems arise…)

"For his own good, it would probably be better for him to go back to the country. But if he wants to visit, in my opinion, he's welcome." (Uh-huh…yeah…right…aren’t you supposed to be casting for the all-pigeon version of “Annie Get Your Gun”? Get out of here, ya hack!)

(Additional reporting by Claudia Parsons)

Sudiegirl’s final opinion?

The Road-Runner better watch his/her back, ya know? Has anyone ever determined the gender of that thing? Oh boy…I’m really riffing today. Better go.

Sudiegirl (who supports wildlife, really…I’m just sassy and like to make jokes.)