Tuesday, February 14, 2006

I'm on the Lloyd Dobler bandwagon, but with a twist...

It's Valentine's Day. Yay. Rah.

And I did see this movie in college...I was on the cusp of adulthood, so I could identify with some of the teenage things, but not all of them.

But one thing sticks with you, and I'm sure I'm not alone...Lloyd Dobler (as played by John Cusack).

Sigh...I didn't even go see this movie with my then-boyfriend. He and I were slowly fading into the nether world of relationships, where many things are later worked out in therapy. Instead, I went with another male friend, and saw this movie that made my heart ache.

And NO, it was not because of the jumbo buttered popcorn that was clogging my arteries, but that wasn't good for me either...

It was because - and if the cinema gods wanna damn me all to hell, fine - Ione Skye's character DID NOT DESERVE LLOYD. Plain and simple. She's like so many of the girls I went to school with...pretty princesses that wouldn't say "s**t" if they had a mouthful. Perfect girls. Girls that try to dress quirky and semi-bohemian but still don't get it. Girls who are wimpy do not deserve guys like Lloyd.

But yet, she still gets this soulful, caring guy. This guy who makes sure she doesn't step in broken glass. This guy who comes to her window AFTER SHE'S DUMPED HIM AND GIVEN HIM A PEN IN A FUTILE ATTEMPT TO REPAIR HIS SHATTERED HEART and plays her MY FAVORITE PETER GABRIEL SONG! She does not deserve him in any way, shape or form. Yet get him she does.

Why? Is it some kind of metaphor for life, showing us that even if we don't necessarily deserve the ones we love, we get them anyway? Or if we don't have a "Lloyd" to love us, we're unlovable?

I remember seeing this movie and feeling so awful. I felt like I would never have a man in my life that would go out on a limb like that and risk disturbing the peace for the woman he loved. Then, I wound up with someone that I thought was the closed I would ever get to the "Lloyd Dobler" factor, and he dumped me two years after we married. So...are there men like Lloyd out there, for real? Or are they just an urban legend like alligators in the sewers or snipe hunting?

I don't know if I believe in romance anymore. I just believe in being able to sit up and take nourishment (another Dawson-ism) and counting that as a good day. I've had too many lousy relationships and two shattered marriages in my wake.

But I've got D, we "met cute", and after God-knows-how many years, we got back together. People that hear our story think it's romantic. Maybe I'm just jaded?

And is "romance" the same as "love"?

Romance is getting a kitten for a gift from your boyfriend.

Love is the boyfriend cleaning out the litter box all the time.

Romance is calling your partner when he/she is sick with the flu.

Love is the partner holding their hair away from their face when they puke, or going to the store at 2 AM for Imodium AD and Sprite.

Other things that love is and romance isn't:

Love is going to funerals for someone you don't know.

Love is waking up at 4:30 in the morning to sit up with your partner when she's found out her dad passed away.

Love is taking your partner to the emergency room when she's having a panic attack and breathing heavy plus sweating to death.

Love is just doing the day to day stuff that you do for someone, and it's just second nature.

Love is sitting in a veterinarian's office crying along with your partner when she's had to put her cat to sleep.

Would Lloyd Dobler do that for me?

Whatever...it doesn't matter. D does that for me, so I guess he wins. Sorry Lloyd.

Happy V-Day