And now, from "Does Hazelden have a puppy wing?" files and Yahoo! News...

Sudiegirl sez: I wonder if the Dog Whisperer is ready to deal with this? Poor traumatized puppies…the picture at left depicts addicted dogs on their way to their dealer's house before the big dog show. (And BTW, I am SO not serious!!!)

Heroin hidden in puppies
16 minutes ago

Colombian drug dealers smuggled heroin into the United States by surgically implanting the powerful drug into puppies, the Drug Enforcement Administration said on Wednesday. (Well, there’s a new twist.)

Special Agent-in-Charge John Gilbride of the DEA's New York Field Division said in a statement that 21 Colombian nationals were arrested on Wednesday for smuggling over 20 kilograms (44 lb) of heroin, worth $20 million at street prices, into the United States. (Think of all the kibble you could buy with that!?)

Among the methods used to transport the drugs were human couriers, who swallowed heroin packets, as well as the Labrador Retriever puppies. In one planned shipment, six puppies were found impregnated with three 3 kg (6.6 lb) of liquid heroin packets. (So instead of “Maria Full of Grace”, it’s “Rover Full of Grace”? Also, here’s a question I have. If the packets dissolve or somehow leak, what happens to the “courier”? Do they feel really good before they die, or just die? Nobody has explained this to me yet.)

DEA spokeswoman Erin McKenzie-Mulvey said that in January 2005, DEA officers and police in Colombia found six puppies with scars on their bellies at a makeshift veterinarian clinic on a rural property. (Awww…poor puppies!)

Ultrasound scans revealed the heroin hidden inside the young dogs, three of which later died of infection. Another four puppies were found with no drugs inside them, she said. (So what…they had liposuction? Enlighten me here, folks!)

McKenzie-Mulvey said the traffickers had planned to retrieve the heroin after the dogs had passed U.S. customs. (So they were going to retrieve the heroin from the retrievers?)

She said the surviving dogs are now, "living happily with families in Colombia." (That almost sounds like that trumped-up statement parents give about how the dog is now living in the country with a lot of room to run and play. Heard that one before, but it doesn’t work if you actually LIVE in the country and your parents tell you that.)

The smugglers also hid heroin in body creams and aerosol cans and sewed it into the lining of purses and luggage, the DEA said. (Very inventive, I must say.)

"The organization's outrageous and heinous smuggling method of implanting heroin inside puppies is a true indication of the extent that drug dealers go to make their profit," Gilbride said. (Ya gotta admit, that’s pretty nasty. I’m not sure that there’s a rebuttal for that statement, but why did the writer have to use both “outrageous” and “heinous”? Wouldn’t “heinous” have been enough?)

Wednesday's arrests -- 20 in Colombia and one in North Carolina -- followed a two-year investigation with Colombian police of a drug ring based in Medellin, Colombia, whose network reached from Miami to New York, the DEA said.

The DEA hopes to bring nine of those arrested to New York to face charges. Colombia is the main supplier of heroin to the United States.

Sudiegirl’s final opinion?

Well, maybe Bob Dylan should have written “Every puppy must get stoned”? Like, woof, man.