Friday, January 13, 2006

And now, from "What soft hands this criminal has!" files and Yahoo! News...

Sudiegirl sez: I don’t know why, but this makes me think of the scenario in “Mallrats” when Jason Lee does disgusting things, then shakes his enemy’s hand…another thing that makes you go EEEWWWW. I’ll do what I do…

Mich. Man Jailed After Handshake Sickens 3
By TIM MARTIN, Associated Press Writer
Thu Jan 12, 4:40 PM ET
A man has been jailed on assault charges after a prosecutor, police officer and courtroom bailiff became seriously ill after shaking hands with him. (I’m now thinking of Steve Guttenberg’s line from the first Police Academy movie..."Thank you sir, I make everybody sick.")

During a Dec. 21 court appearance on a traffic charge, John Ridgeway pulled out a vial of an unknown liquid, rubbed his hands with the contents and insisted on shaking hands with the three people, authorities said. (That is weird, you’ve gotta admit. But wouldn’t the security guards have told him to empty his pockets or something, and if it looked suspicious, wouldn’t they confiscate it?)

All of them got sick within an hour, suffering from nausea, headaches, numbness and tingling that lasted about a day. Two sought treatment at a hospital. (Are you sure they weren’t at my house for dinner? And people ask me why I don't cook...)

The FBI was running tests on the substance to identify it. (See? Just like my food...)

Ridgeway, 41, told the Associated Press in a telephone interview from jail Thursday that the substance was olive oil. He questioned whether the three officials were sick at all, and charged that the allegations were fabricated. (Well, they seem pretty coincidental and specific to be fabricated.)

"They've got a vendetta against me because I took a ticket to a jury trial," he said. (OK…HUH? Something tells me things are stranger here than they appear…does anyone have inside information on this case that they’d like to share?)

Ridgeway could get up to six years in prison if convicted.

"I have never seen the likes of this. Nobody else has, either," said prosecutor Keith Kushion. He was not the prosecutor who fell ill. (And I’ll bet he thanks his lucky stars as well!)

Sudiegirl’s final opinion?

Why would someone put olive oil itself on their hands unless they were going to knead pizza dough or something like that? I mean, I can understand using hand lotion where olive oil was an ingredient, but beyond that, I’m stumped. This is WEIRD. If more developments come up, gentle readers, comment on this piece…I wanna follow up on this puppy!

Sudiegirl the oil-free