OH GOD, I THINK I'M GONNA HURL

Sudiegirl sez: NO!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS NOT FAIR!!!!! I realize it could be worse and Rosie O'Donnell could be playing the part, but AAAAAHHHHH! I'm about to upchuck. Read on...

Britney's 'Sweet' For Broadway
(Note to self: Buy my least favorite diabetic tickets to see "Britney" on Broadway...)

BRITNEY SPEARS is in talks for a very 'Sweet' deal. Marc Malkin reports that the pop music princess is in serious negotiations to make her Broadway debut in the current revival of Sweet Charity. (Can she even SPELL "negotiations"?)

The 23-year-old Spears would replace CHRISTINA APPLEGATE, 33, in the title role of the unlucky-in-love dancer, Charity. And guess who may be joining Spears? Her husband, KEVIN FEDERLINE. (Apparently, she's really trying to break him of that 24-hour-a-day X-Box habit.)

"He'd be a dancer in the show," a source tells Malkin. "The producers really want Britney and will do anything to make this happen." (I would like to pay someone big wads of dough so this will NOT happen. AAAAGGGGHHH - can you HEAR my cries of despair?)

Spears was spotted as recently as last night attending a performance of the hit musical. A rep for Spears declined to comment. (I hate to admit this...but it really wouldn't be a stretch for her to play Charity. After all, Charity's character is used by men, and well...you get the idea.)

Sudiegirl's final opinion?

Ick, Ick, and double ICK.

Indignantly yours,
Sudiegirl

Portrait of the bimbo as a young girl...Ladies & Gents, Britney Spears...

UPDATE! UPDATE! KARMA OFFICIALLY WORKS!!!!

If I could get away with it, I'd dance the happy dance and type my comments at the same time, but I can't. Sorry, charlie...

By theINSIDER's Marc S. Malkin

It looks like BRITNEY SPEARS isn't so 'Sweet.' I hear the 23-year-old new momma pop princess has turned down a very lucrative offer to star in the Broadway revival of Sweet Charity. (Tell me again why it's a bad thing?)

As I exclusively reported, Spears was in talks to replace CHRISTINA APPLEGATE as the unlucky-in-love Charity. She was also looking to get hubby KEVIN FEDERLINE a job in the show as a dancer. (Now it's back to the shake machine at McDonald's, huh, Kev?)

"Britney said she couldn't do it because of 'family issues,'" a source tells me. I'm told producers spent tens of thousands of dollars on wooing her. She apparently racked up quite a bill on private jets and hotel suites. "The producers didn't mind," my source says. "They thought they'd make that money back right away once she said yes." (OK...who in Britney Spears' fan base can afford Broadway tickets in this day and age? I believe I mentioned this once before.)

A source close to Spears tells me that she decided against a Broadway run "because she didn't want to uproot her family to New York and make such a long commitment. Of course, she seriously considered it, but she's a new mom and Kevin has two other kids who are also on the West Coast." (Yeah, but it's not like Kevin does anything with them or for them...please...he's the poster child for deadbeat dads.)

Sudiegirl is happy! YEAH! But who are they going to get to fill in the Charity spot instead? Personally, I'd like to see Christina Aguilera get it. She may be a bimbo, but she's honest about it! What about you all? Who do you think should be part of this production? Let me know...