And now, from the "If You Can't Say Anything Nice, Shut the Hell Up" files and Yahoo! News...

Sudiegirl sez: OK...do they actually give doctors courses in sensitivity training? And I don't mean using PC terminology that's ultimately more hurtful than your average run-of-the-mill bluntness.

I am a heavy person...I work with it, I do the best I can with it. There are many more of us out there, and you know what? Just telling someone to take off the extra pounds is not all there is to it. Do you realize that many people are overweight are not necessarily big eaters? I'm not...my sister wasn't...a lot of people that are overweight are like us.



My sister tried EVERYTHING she could to lose weight...medications, diets, exercise, the whole nine yards. She finally had bariatric surgery, and it's changed her life for the better and the not-so-much better. Her body has changed in good and bad ways. She's had to really adjust some things in her life, and also work out emotional impacts of the weight loss too. I know that my various psychotropic meds have caused me to gain weight, and I work hard to keep it down but I know I'm not perfect. As you read this article and my snarky comments, ask yourself..."What would Sudie do?" (or insert your own name into that question...)


Woman Offended by Doc's Obesity Advice
27 minutes ago

ROCHESTER, N.H. - As doctors warn more patients that they should lose weight, the advice has backfired on one doctor with a woman filing a complaint with the state saying he was hurtful, not helpful. (Oh boy...stand back and watch the fun begin...)

Dr. Terry Bennett says he tells obese patients their weight is bad for their health and their love lives, but the lecture drove one patient to complain to the state. (Interesting. I've noticed that most of the doctors that tell me to lose weight could stand to lose some themselves...don't you just want to sit up and say, "Physician, heal thyself!", then smack him in the head with his stethoscope?)

"I told a fat woman she was obese," Bennett says. "I tried to get her attention. I told her, 'You need to get on a program, join a group of like-minded people and peel off the weight that is going to kill you.' " (OK, Dr. B...first thing...check out your beginning sentence. "I told a fat woman she was obese." You dumb ass! Most heavy people know they're heavy. It's pretty obvious! If you want people to feel that you're empathetic to their health problems, don't use derogatory words like "fat" when you're defending yourself! I mean, the essence of your message was quite clear, and if you had only omitted the "fat" word, you might have an extra player on your team in the form of me. However, it ain't happenin'. Not a chance.)

He says he wrote a letter of apology to the woman when he found out she was offended. (I'd love to read that letter...hope it didn't start out, "Gee, lady, I'm sorry you're FAT." It's just common sense. And letters of apology never seem to cut it. I prefer an in-person apology myself when someone offends me, but I know that's never going to happen because people tend to prefer hiding behind letterhead. Don't ask me why.)

Her complaint, filed about a year ago, was initially investigated by a panel of the New Hampshire Board of Medicine, which recommended that Bennett be sent a confidential letter of concern. (What the hell does THAT mean? That sounds pretty wimpy to me...does the phrase "Beat him with a wet noodle" seem to fit the bill on that, or is it just me?)

The board rejected the suggestion in December and asked the attorney general's office to investigate. (Interesting...I think in my next life I want to be an attorney general. People usually shake in their boots when an attorney general gets involved in something...like it's General Patton in an Armani suit preparing to take over.)

Bennett rejected that office's proposal that he attend a medical education course and acknowledge that he made a mistake. (Why am I NOT surprised?)

Bruce Friedman, chairman of the board of medicine, said he could not discuss specific complaints. Assistant Attorney General Catherine Bernhard, who conducted the investigation, also would not comment, citing state law that complaints are confidential until the board takes disciplinary action. (Typical...but necessary...)

The board's Web site says disciplinary sanctions may range from a reprimand to the revocation of all rights to practice in the state. (What? No FLOGGING?)

"Physicians have to be professional with patients and remember everyone is an individual. You should not be inflammatory or degrading to anyone," said board member Kevin Costin. (Hear Hear!)

Other overweight patients have come to Bennett's defense. (That's understandable too...there are two sides to every story.)

"What really makes me angry is he told the truth," Mindy Haney told WMUR-TV on Tuesday. "How can you punish somebody for that?" (The thing is, he told the truth in a mean way. You can punish someone for that because he ultimately hurt, not helped, his patient. That's like a psychiatrist calling his patient, to his/her face, a nutcase. I mean, he could have outlined how much she was overweight in terms of poundage, what that means in terms of her bone structure and overall health, options she could have, etc. Think about it...when you're dealt with like an adult and a doctor doesn't have preconceived notions about you, the treatment process usually goes better. You have to use tough love sometimes, but you also have to feel a patient out and see if they're accepting of that if it's not a crisis situation like an addiction intervention, etc. If they're not, you try another technique.)

Haney said Bennett has helped her lose more than 150 pounds, but acknowledged that she initially didn't want to listen. (That's normal...who wants to hear something like that? I know it's frustrating for me...)

"I have been in this lady's shoes. I've been angry and left his practice. I mean, in-my-car-taking-off angry," Haney said. "But once you think about it, you're angry at yourself, not Doctor Bennett. He's the messenger. He's telling you what you already know." (True, but again...please refer to his sentence "I told a fat woman she was obese." I don't care who you are, but when a doctor makes a Freudian slip like that, it's very rude, and gives a much more accurate indicator of what he/she really thinks of the patient. Doctors are human and have their own pecadillos, but the key to a successful relationship with your patient is that you overcome your weaknesses - or try to - to be an effective servant to the public.)

Sudiegirl's final opinion?

This guy needs some sensitivity training. I also suggest that he read up on obesity, and realize that just telling someone to "get into a program" isn't enough. I've tried to be sensitive to the other side in many cases, and sometimes the news doesn't tell you everything about a situation right away. We may never know exactly how he phrased the statement to his patient. However, he f****d up when he called the patient "fat". You don't do that.

As mentioned, I have struggled with weight...I've been skinnier and heavier than I am right now. I've lost it and gained it back. It's a fact of life...many people go through their own journey in weight gain and loss. However, I've learned that your body type and outside "trappings" doesn't always match what you are inside, as a person. I've seen beautiful people be mean as hell to others. I've seen average people do extraordinary things, and they have beautiful hearts and souls.

But when you slip, like this doctor did, and actually say what you're thinking without thinking (if that makes any sense), you wonder why the hell they went into medicine.

Sigh...

Sudiegirl the disillusioned