Things that make you go "Duh"! Part Deux...from Dear Abby
DEAR ABBY: My wife spends all her spare time with a female friend I'll call "Cassandra." (Are you sure you want to call her that? Be honest, now...) Last August they went to Nicaragua for two weeks, at Cassandra's expense. They are planning a trip to Puerto Rico next month. (Where does your wife get all her free time?) Again, Cassandra is footing the bill. They spent a week together in Louisville at a church-sponsored activity. They give each other oil massages in our bed and make frequent bets with each other with the massages as the payoff. (How much laundry do you do every week, with all that oil? Or do they just get tarps or something and drape them over that old Sealy Posturepedic?) They spend as much as three hours a day communicating, whether it be via phone, e-mail or text-messaging. They see each other a minimum of once a week, plus at church, and we live 50 miles apart. (Again, where's the spare time and cash in all this? What in God's name does this man DO that the ol' wife can stay at home with a bottle of baby oil and a travel agent's phone number?) When they're together, I can repeat a question four times or more and never be acknowledged. (Welcome to marriage, stupid!) They make special dinners and buy each other gifts. The items my wife receives are many times what we can afford. (Well, what do you care? Apparently, the broad has enough free time for oil massages and travel, and you make enough so she doesn't have to work!) When they're on the phone or e-mailing, dinners have been burned and normal things that should be done around the house don't get done. (Well, I'll let THAT chauvanistic remark pass...) Do you think there is something I should be concerned about here? (WELL, DUH!!!) -- WONDERING IN ILLINOIS
(Sudiegirl's usual disclaimer...OK, someone at the Dear Abby offices is pulling my chain, I'll bet. The guy who wrote this letter is the biggest dimwit on the planet! Dumber than yesterday's dumbass! Anyway, comments, as usual, are interspersed. Enjoy Bugs in Drag, BTW...another tribute to a really obvious trick that still fools a man every time, just like Elmer Fudd.)
HUSBAND IS DISTANT SECOND IN LINE FOR WIFE'S AFFECTION
By Abigail Van Buren Sun Jul 10, 8:06 PM ET
You and she -- and probably her girlfriend -- are overdue for a long and very frank talk. (And if that doesn't work, a puppet show might.)
Sudiegirl's final opinion?
Do you see what I mean about Dear Abby pullin' my chain? I mean, am I giving the human race credit for not being that clueless, or does this guy really think that she's not playing for the other team and she needs to get back to her womanly duties?
This is just truly stupefying.
Sudiegirl the befuddled
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