And to think it's come to this for Bill Clinton...from "Yahoo" News

Sudiegirl's note...I'm really glad the days of trading humans for livestock are (for the most part) over, but you know, offers like this apparently are still considered feasible in certain parts of the world. Let me know what y'all think of this...



Kenyan Holding a Torch for Chelsea Clinton (Let's just hope he doesn't burn his hand.)
32 minutes ago
NAIROBI, Kenya - A Kenyan says he offered Bill Clinton 40 goats and 20 cows for his daughter's hand in marriage five years ago — and is still waiting for an answer. (Well, Bill is waiting for the final estimate from the butcher so I guess you're even?)

Godwin Kipkemoi Chepkurgor told the East Africa Standard newspaper last week that he wrote Clinton asking for Chelsea's hand in 2000 during the then-president's visit to Kenya. (OK...whenever I hear that phrase, I think whoever is saying it is actually afraid to commit to the whole body, so they start with the hand and go from there. Is anyone else with me on this?)

Chepkurgor, a 36-year-old elected city councilor in Nakuru, recounted writing to the U.S president through the Kenyan government. (OK...question...why did he need help from the Kenyan government in writing a love letter? Isn't that what this boils down to? It's kind of a "Cyrano De Bergerac" thing.)

He described his plans for a grand wedding presided over by South African Nobel Peace Prize winner Archbishop Desmond Tutu. He named then-President Daniel arap Moi and the president of his university as references. (Gee...when I got married the first time, our pastor was suspected of embezzling from the church, my sister/matron of honor was 8.5 months pregnant, and I had an ex-biker as a reference {Mike's Uncle Tom, R.I.P}. Makes me feel kind of small in comparison, although my cousin Mike did have the cojones to play "Makin' Whoopee" in the Methodist church during one of my prelude songs. Top that, man!)

"Had I succeeded in wooing Chelsea, I would have had a grand wedding," he told the Standard in an interview published Friday during Clinton's recent visit to Kenya. (OK, maybe this isn't a grand testament to my femininity, but I don't honestly remember if I've ever been wooed. If it involves livestock, probably not. If it involves edible underwear and whipped cream and a promise of pancakes afterward, then yes.)

Chepkurgor said his letter praised Clinton's leadership and commended his wife, Senator
Hillary Rodham Clinton for standing by her husband "like an African woman" in the face of the Monica Lewinsky scandal. (OK...that's the way to win friends and influence people: "Let's bring up a painful reference from the past and try to work it to our advantage." And you know, Hillary did stand by her man, but I think he also spent many lonely nights on the couch watching "Hogan's Heroes" reruns on cable and smacking himself on the forehead screaming "Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" Just a thought...)

The electrical engineering graduate said he promised to pay his would-be father-in-law 20 cows and 40 goats in dowry for his only daughter in accordance with African tradition. (You know, my dad should have cashed in on that dowry idea...he had two daughters, and he could have had free meat for life!)

But he said the letter prompted security checks — on him, his family and his classmates, and he was summoned to the Foreign Ministry in Nairobi for a meeting that he missed because of his graduation from university. (Not cool...better get a DayPlanner.)

A National Security Intelligence Service officer told the Standard the letter probably never made it out of the office. (Why? Was it postage due? I know...just leave me alone. It was a valid assumption, damnit!)

"We gathered that this man was a teetotaler and a staunch Christian who seemed to have been struck by Chelsea, and I thought maybe he just took the joke too far," he said. (OK...apparently, if he'd been struck by Chelsea, he didn't get the hint. Next time, Chelsea, when you strike him, tuck a roll of quarters in your fist. Then he'll see stars!)

Chepkurgor vowed to remain single until he gets an answer to his proposal to marry Chelsea, 25. (He'd be better off trying to find someone else...I hear Sienna Miller's available, and she's YOUNGER than Chelsea. Think about it, man...)

Sudiegirl's final opinion?

1. Pass the barbeque sauce.

2. Mr. Chepkurgor is going to be single a long time, I'd wager.

3. I just realized that this is the same country that arrested a cow for killing a bus driver. Makes you wonder where the meat is coming from, doesn't it?

I'd better "moooooooooooove" along now in search of more weirdness...

Sudiegirl