Musings of a chick: And now, from the "Oh, God...another reason my cats need therapy" files and Yahoo! News...

Sudiegirl sez: The picture on the left is a depiction of what my cat does when I'm not at home. The information about to be presented really surprised me, and naturally, some members of the cartoon community spoke out to give their views on the issue...like we really care...ANYWAY, on with the scientific show, so to speak.

Genetics Leave Felines Without Sweet Tooth

By PAUL ELIAS, AP Biotechnology Writer Mon Jul 25, 1:39 AM ET

SAN FRANCISCO - Cats are notoriously finicky eaters, as millions of pet owners can attest. Now, there's a scientific theory explaining, at least in part, why cats have such snobby eating habits: genetics. (Oh God, like they REALLY need a reason!? I'm glad my cats can't read so they won't feel justified by this article.)

Researchers at the Monell Chemical Senses Center in Philadelphia and their collaborators said Sunday they found a dysfunctional feline gene that probably prevents cats from tasting sweets, a sensation nearly every other mammal on the planet experiences to varying degrees. (Now if they can just take away the urge for my cat to wait until I put down the groceries before they wind around my legs...)

Researchers took saliva and blood samples from six cats, including a tiger and a cheetah (hopefully, they were all sedated...I wouldn't want to be the lucky intern to take the blood sample from a tiger that is AWAKE...) and found each had a useless gene that other mammals use to create a "sweet receptor" on their tongues. The gene in question does not produce one of the two vital proteins needed to form the receptors. (Please note that dog lovers everywhere are snickering to themselves, saying "Just ONE useless gene?")

"Because cats can't taste sweets, they're cranky," joked Joseph Brand, Monell's associate director and an author of the paper being published Sunday in the inaugural issue of the Public Library of Science's journal Genetics. (You know, out of humor comes truth. That explains a lot about my cat...)

The Public Library of Science aims to make such research freely available online and was launched out of frustration with rising subscription costs of prestigious research print journals, some of which cost more than $11,000 a year. (Yet another reason I didn't do grad school...subscriptions to "People" magazine are much cheaper.)

Instead of charging a subscription fee, the nonprofit organization charges authors $1,500 per paper submitted. (Yowch! That's a lot of greenbacks, but does that mean any yahoo with an extra $1500 burning a hole in their pockets can submit a totally bogus paper?)

Brand said the "pseudogene" in cats is probably a big reason why they are carnivores that get by on a high-protein, "Atkin's-like" diet. (OK...however, sometimes cats do have their quirks. For example, one of my cats loved Fritos with melted cheese on top. Another cat (the Sainted Scotchie) loved microwave popcorn. The Maine Coon cat I recently acquired likes licking the lid of every Ben & Jerry's pint I get, as well as other ice cream acquisitions. Also, according to the instructions on every jug of anti-freeze I've ever seen, you're supposed to keep dogs AND CATS away from anti-freeze because they might be tempted by the SWEET taste. If that's the case, this theory may have a crack in it.)

"Its sense of taste has driven it to become a meat eater," Brand said. "Losing their sweet receptor has probably changed their dietary habits." (Well, also, I've read that cats, like dogs, can't tolerate large amounts of chocolate. Wouldn't that be a deterrent to all things sweet if cats know that it's going to make 'em sick?)

Brand said the paper is a culmination of a lingering question that nagged at him since he visited the Philadelphia Zoo with a colleague 25 years ago to watch the feeding habits of big cats. (Hopefully from a safe distance...)

All mammals have receptor cells on their tongues that send taste signals to the brain to process. The receptor cells are clustered together as taste buds. Each human taste bud is comprised of 50 to 100 receptor cells representing the five major taste sensations: salty, sour, sweet, bitter and umami (as opposed to yo'mama), the taste of the food additive MSG and fermented soy products, among other foods.

Most mammals' sweet receptors are created by two proteins, one of which cats are missing.

The study was paid for, in part, by the research arm of the pet food giant Mars Inc., which is looking to make better-tasting cat food. The company has the rights of first refusal to commercialize the discovery published Sunday, Brand said. (Well, if they can't taste sweets, don't put sugar in it! Jeez...)

Brand said the discovery could help veterinarians treat ill cats. (Now if they would just unlock the secret on how to give a cat a pill, then we'd really be in business!)

"Everyone knows that cats are finicky," said Brand, who owns two cats. "And one big issue is how to make food palatable enough for a sick cat to eat." (Well, maybe claiming the food as yours would help. Cats love a challenge.)

The research team also received funding from the National Institute of Health, the U.S. epartment of Veterans Affairs and the National Science Foundation. Brand declined to say how much the project cost. (OK, I get the NIH funding and the National Science Foundation funding, but what the heck do Veterans have to do with it?)

The nonprofit Monell center studies the senses of smell and taste and has produced a number of scientific breakthroughs, including a study to be published this year showing that gay men sense body odor differently than straight men. (Yeah, in the sense that they SMELL it. A straight guy can go outside and do yard work while you're at work, and then when you come home they wanna kiss on you and don't understand why you're backing away with a can of Lysol. "But Honey...")

Sudiegirl's final word...

Well, let's hear what our feline friends have to say.

Bucky Katt: "Gimme, gimme, gimme!"

Mr. Jinks: "I hate Reeses' Pieces to pieces!" (Jeez, pretty drastic, huh?)

Snagglepuss: "Exit to Jenny Craig, stage right!"

(BTW, is is just me or did anyone else think Snagglepuss was gay? I mean, he's pink, he's a snappy dresser, he's theatrical...all the signs are there...)

Garfield: "Just don't mess with the lasagna and nobody gets hurt."