And now, from the "Hookers Need a Holiday Too!" files, and Yahoo! News

(Sudiegirl's disclaimer...no ladies of the evening were harmed in the creation of this entry. I won't blather on anymore...)


Minn. Cancels 'Whorehouse Days' Festival
By The Associated Press 1 hour, 35 minutes ago


Organizers of the first-ever "Whorehouse Days" festival in Gilbert had big plans: a four-poster bed race, a beer mug-sliding contest, a showdown for best-dressed madam.
(Gee, I'd like to see their parade...a bunch of town dignitaries arm-in-arm with floozies, and all the men have their pants down around their ankles...truly, an inspiring sight)

Now, they're looking for a lawyer, after the City Council's refusal to rent out public buildings effectively killed the festival that was supposed to start this weekend in the small northern Minnesota town. (Have they checked the whorehouse? I understand lawyers and politicians congregate there)

Almost one-third of the city's businesses signed a petition against the event and dozens of residents protested at council meetings.
(Where are the other two-thirds? That's what I'd like to know. Probably with the lawyers...)

"The City Council's acting like it's the Moral Majority or something," said lead organizer Bob Cap. "They really played a number on us."
(Wait a minute...keep your vices straight! You can't switch from lust to gambling on me.)

Gilbert Mayor Bob Garrity said the council did nothing wrong. Council members weren't satisfied with the answers they got when they questioned organizers about the event, he said.
(So apparently, "I know you are but what am I?" and "Nanny-nanny-boo-boo" are not acceptable in parliamentary procedure? Damn...)

The organizers, Gilbert After Hours, Inc., plan to try again next summer. Meanwhile, they are looking for a lawyer. Their Web site said they want an attorney who is "not afraid of (or connected to) the city government of Gilbert."
(Well, my Web site says I want to be in a vat of Chubby Hubby Ice Cream with Brad Pitt, but we don't always get what we want, now, do we?)

The weekend festival, which also was to include a performance of "The Best Little Whorehouse in Gilbert," had attracted almost $50,000 in sponsorships and area hotels were starting to fill up with reservations. Organizers had promised all the events would have been rated G or PG.

Gilbert's history actually includes a period when it was known as a place of saloons and prostitution, (is it OK to mention "period" and "prostitution" in the same sentence? Just wondering...) in the early years of the 20th century when mining and timber-cutting were in full swing. (Shouldn't that be "schwing"? Oh GOD am I dating myself...party on, Wayne...)

But Cap acknowledged the name was picked as a marketing tool.
(Well, maybe they need a different name, like "The First Annual Gilbert Slut-O-Rama 2005" or "Debbie Does Gilbert".)

"We figured the shock value would cause some people to say, 'Hey, let's go check that out.'"
(Just follow the evangelists, politicians and lawyers. Kind of like Toucan Sam follows his nose, eh?)

Sudiegirl's final opinion?

I think I'm in the wrong line of work. I mean, Administrative Professionals' Day is nothing compared to this! They get a parade and everything! All we get is a boss who may or may not remember to spell our name right on the card that they hurriedly purchased at Wal-Mart.

Wantonly yours,
Sudiegirl

P.S. The picture of Red Hot Riding Hood was the only loose cartoon woman I could find...Jessica Rabbit's chest took up too much room. I'll give ol' Jessica R. another shot later...